Alan’s Story

Allan’s Testimony

My name is Allan, a father of three children to three different women; my siblings and I grew up in a home totally consumed by addiction. All our lives we knew no other way. I lived life as I witnessed it and looking back now it was complete insanity.

I am in my mid twenties and I am sick of being sick. I have been in prison at least sixteen times and in a rehabilitation unit at eighteen. This was purely to satisfy the courts and not of my own doing.

When I walked out the rehab I was picked up by one of my friends and handed a bottle of Jack Daniels whiskey and was immediately straight back to insanity. I did not know about the first drink then. Also, I did not know about the first drink leading onto other addictions.

I ended up on Heroin, Hash and every other mind altering substance you could think of. Broken relationships were normal for me. What woman could put up with that type of lifestyle? To the women that I got involved with, I regret all my actions.

I am slowly learning, through my involvement with Bill W Club, that there is another way, a way I have been searching for all my life. I want my children to be proud of their father, not ashamed as a drunk and a drug addict.

I am in very early stages of recovery now and looking forward to going into a Rehabilitation unit for me, through membership of the club I have people to talk to at any time, and there is always some one there for the good times and the bad times.

I am looking forward to being trained up as a peer leader, but like all things in recovery this will only happen one day at a time, and only I can make this happen; I prayed for help some times not to waken up when I was homeless, now I am glad the good Lord never answered that prayer.

I know at the moment I don’t have much to offer any community, but it is my goal in life to try and pass on a message and one that nearly took me to the grave. This lifestyle of addiction is not worth it, not the personal pain, the pain inflicted on my family and friends.

The club talks about emotional recovery, I don’t do emotions very well, but I realise that all my life I have been in emotional turmoil, and it is great to feel the release and freedom from knowing now that I can free myself from this strange conflict of feelings.

My prayer is that I can up-date this testimonial in six months time, one day at a time as part of my program for the future, setting small positive goals on a daily basis. I can see a future now not too far in the distance. All I have to do is stretch out my hand in the direction of recovery. This feels good.

Jen’s Story

Jen’s Story

My Aunt was diagnosed with chronic liver failure which kept her in a coma and fighting for her life, the doctors told us it was minute by minute for her That is how unwell she was. After weeks in hospital and her family being sent for twice she was that close to death, she came round and was eventually released from hospital.

Our family thought our nightmare was over but the fact was hers was just beginning. After over 30 years of drinking, her life was completely changed. She became very depressed and was still extremely weak.

She was suicidal. I will never forget that Friday evening when I rang her to see how she was and she told me she couldn’t take it any more and wanted to end it all. I panicked, I couldn’t breath, I didn’t know what to do. Then I remembered a friend telling me about Bill W Club (A Vision Beyond Addiction) which she attends for all addictions.

She gave me a telephone number of the gentleman who runs the club, I rang him straight away and he immediately answered the phone to me. I was sobbing, trying to explain my aunt’s case.

He was so nice, calm and reassuring and told me he would meet me at my Aunts house in forty five minutes. This was at 7.30 p.m. on a Friday evening. Who else would you be able to ring at this time, especially at the weekend and get a response like this.

At 8.15 p.m. he arrived at the house with a female member of his group. On seeing my Aunt he recognised her from the days he was a taxi driver in town. My Aunt was in a bed that was made up for her in the living room and he approached her and had a quite conversation with her.

After a few minutes there was a small smile from her. She opened her eyes and she recognised him and he sat and talked with my aunt for about an hour. He told us she would be fine and that he would be back out the following morning at 12.00 to bring her to her first A A meeting. We did not know what to think. Here she was lying on the bed so sick and he was saying he would pick her up the following morning.

I couldn’t believe it how he went out of his way on a Friday evening for our family. True to his word, he arrived out with the same female member of the club at 12.00 and brought my aunt to her first meeting.

That was fifteen months ago. She attends her meetings at least four times a week and she is attending hospital in Dublin as a direct result of excess Alcohol.

Because of this intervention and its miraculous outcome, she has seen her two grandchildren born, she’s involved again with the family and is still the life and soul of the party, only this time round she is sober.

Families in situations like ours need the help of organisations like The Bill W Club and I truly believe that on that Friday night, not only did they save my Aunts life, they saved a whole family.

We as a family will be forever grateful for the work and service carried out by the Bill W Club. I personally will never forget the kindness shown to myself, my Aunt and family from the staff of the Club.

I think it is amazing that this club is open 365 days and nights a year, the service is free, they deal with the families as well as the addicts and if they can’t help you they will find some one who can.

Our families lives changed for the better one hour after meeting this group. They helped my Aunt do for herself what the medical profession could not get her to do. They proved to us that this is an illness of the mind and body that only the individual themselves can resolve if they have the proper guidance and mentoring.

Many thanks and much gratitude from a family united through recovery.

One Day At a Time.

A Mothers Story

A Mothers Story

I am a mother of four children, all grown up under the influence of violence through alcoholism in the family home. The children witnessed their father beating me up on many occasions while under the influence of alcohol, or his craving for alcohol. He also suffered from extreme jealousy which took the form of other types of violence.

After suffering many years of this I was of the opinion if I can’t beat him, I would be as well joining him. This led me into another type of nightmare that was to have much more damaging affects on me.

To cut a long story short I ended up suffering from alcoholism myself, which took me down a road of loneliness and deep depression. I could not face life on life’s terms. I could not face family, friends and neighbours and ended up in complete isolation in my own home. Alcoholism was chasing them all away.

An extended family member recognised my unbearable situation and through his experience with addiction and his own recovery, he asked me if I would consider talking to the Bill W Club Addiction Service. They are a group in Sligo which specialises in RECOVERY from all addictions. They offer Peer Support and Life Coaching service.

This service is free and in strict confidence. I agreed and we made arrangements for a member of staff to call to my home at around 5.30pm that evening. A member of staff called and sat down and had a cuppa tea while he listened to my story. After hearing what I had to say, he painted a picture in my mind of what I had gone through, and what was going to happen if I continued, and where I was going to end up.

He also took the time to paint a picture of the thoughts in my mind, and did his analogy of the alcoholic thinking He also shared some of his own experiences, which in turn took us to the point where I was asked to make a decision. Did I want to continue on the destructive path I was on, or try a new approach to life. One which could give me all that I ever wanted in terms of freedom from booze and the alcoholic life style.

It was not a hard choice given the picture that was painted for me. I chose freedom and was invited to become a member of Bill W Club. That was fourteen months ago. I now attend AA and other personal development groups in the Bill W Club. My life has changed for the better. I would go as far as to say they saved my life. I can only say, in my opinion, a miracle happened.

I now look forward to meeting my grandchildren and being a example to them, and hopefully through my own experiences, be able to guide them in the right direction in life. This I never dreamed would happen.

I have since been taught by the club how to become an interventionist myself, and I am proud to say that I have been in attendance on two occasions and assisted two other females back to reality. To watch and be part of such an occasion is overwhelming and God given.

A Wounded Soul

A Wounded Soul

A wounded soul…. well that’s what I am. Life seemed very easy for me growing up, I had everything I could wish for and more, a fantastic loving family, solid home and I needed for nothing. I had a great childhood with many friends and cycled into school on my bike every day without a care in the world. I had no worries only the normal stuff of growing up and being a teenager. I went to college got degree’s and proceeded on with life with a carefree attitude and a naivety that things would be the same for the rest of my life. Get a good job, find a husband and maybe have kids one day. Life was going to be good, the average ups and downs were inevitable but things would work out and I’d find my feet and place in this world. As it turned out I got none of the above with the exception of a good family.

Life was to turn in a total different direction for me and boy was I unprepared about how tough life could be. A whole new world was about to open up and it definitely was one that I hadn’t experienced or wanted. Depression was coming after me like a freight train and there was no escape.

The starting point for change was when I broke up from a ten year relationship with my boyfriend. He asked me to marry him and we were going to set up home together. I got my bags packed and I remember all the luggage at home in the hall. My Mother was laughing at all the stuff I had accumulated and how it was all going to fit in the car. My boyfriend was to collect me and we were moving to a different county to set up shop as it were. I waited excitedly for him that day but he never came. I tried calling him but got no reply. I sat for two days in disbelief that he wasn’t coming for me. He wouldn’t speak to me or explain what had happened, it was over and that was that. I remember falling to my knees in tears something I hadn’t experienced before to such a degree. I was broken hearted and so the story goes. One that we are all familiar with in some shape or form.

As I began recovering from my break up I had good times and bad and realised after five years that it wasn’t to be. I began to get down in myself a lot and uneasy with myself. It was the first time in my life to be single and on my own and a lot of self discovery began. I was becoming more and more anxious and didn’t know why. One day, I had to leave work in tears for no apparent reason and I literally ran out of the place in a state not able to talk. I was scared and didn’t know what was happening to me. Running away in tears became more frequent and I was trying to fight it and pull myself up and move on. I would for a day or two and then the sadness and uneasiness would arise again. This was only the beginning.

I thought my first depression was bad until I got to the third episode. In all I suffered a solid four years of absolute hell on earth. I had heard of depression and was aware of it as I used to comfort a close friend in her hours of pain. I thought I knew what I was talking about but I didn’t have a clue. Not a notion of what the reality of suffering with severe depression could be like. I heard someone once refer to Depression as Darkness of the brain, well I would go further to say that its darkness of the mind, body and soul. I know that there are differing levels of severity but I know mine was definitely up there at the top.

I couldn’t work, sleep or eat properly, basically I had gone from a functioning adult to a depended fearful child. I was in such fear that I would not leave the house at all. The anxiety that came with my depression made it even harder to deal with. I could not switch off at all. I was crying every day all day, I couldn’t get out of bed and I didn’t want too. I hated myself for being so weak that I could not fight this or just brush myself off and move on. I was totally incapable of having one nice thought or to find one thing good about me as a person. I hated what I became, I was ashamed frightened and totally worn out and exhausted as my mind and body felt like it was being taken over by total darkness. I remember the intensity of every minute of every day and it was unbearable. I hated living and hated myself for not being able to sort it out or get better. I refused medication for a long time as I had a lot of negative thoughts towards their use and hated medication as a rule. In the end my sister dragged me into the doctor and they initially helped me to slow down the racing thoughts that were using up so much of my energy. I also got sleeping tablets and a few other things that helped me to sleep. I could not sleep without drug assistance at all. This helped me get some rest but there were many battles to come.

I used to dread every day and hated when I woke up. I wanted to be back asleep, away from the depression a break from it. It was so relentless and intense that I truly believed that I was going mad. This was me mentally disturbed for the rest of my life. I truly 100 percent believed that I would not get well and that I had lost the person I was. I cried for the person I was, I cried for the person I wanted to be and I cried for absolute torture that was and is Depression. I begged and pleaded with God to take me. I couldn’t stand it anymore, I didn’t know how to get well, I was vulnerable and lived in constant and absolute real fear all the time. I had panic attacks, I cried in the shower so nobody could hear me. I was riddled with guilt about how I was affecting my family so negatively. I used to scream out in pain, I used to hide in my room with pain and fear. I didn’t want to see or talk to anyone, not my friends nobody. I didn’t want anyone seeing the state I was in. I had no idea what was happenig to me and I was never so scared in all my life. I was barely able to reach out but it got to the stage where something had to be done. I was not able to help myself and either were my family at that stage, which upset them and me even more. I had little trust in therapists and knew how in such a vulnerable state that the right therapist could be that making of me or the death of me.

I had thoughts of death and thought of ways to kill myself and how I would do it. A friend of mine at college had committed suicide years back and he used the exhaust in his car and I wondered how he did it. I thought of driving to a remote area that I know and what it would be like to drive off the cliffs, would I regret it in mid-flight as the car was falling into the sea. I always knew that deep down that I could never do this to my family but I wanted for myself, to escape the torture, for it all to be over, it was that unbearable. It scared me that I was even thinking that way. I eventually decided that something needed to be done and I decided to check myself into a hospital. I will never forget packing my bags and heading up on the Sligo train to Dublin, not for a day out or a shopping spree but to check into the Lunatic House. When I was brought up to my bed and all was taken from me I began to realise where I was. My Mum left quickly as the nurse went through rules with me and I got a fright. She was gone, I was here in a sterile ward feeling totally alone and scared. I’ll never know how difficult it was for my Mum to leave that day but I felt her pain as well as my own. I checked myself out of the hospital eight days after, it was hell for me and I felt that there was no way that I was going to get well here. That was my wake up call to work my ass off in Cognitive Therapy and be at home with family and friends around me. I couldn’t have done it without them and can never repay them for their patience, care, support and love that they showed me throughout.

The one woman that helped save my life was no doubt my Cognitive Therapist. After a year I began to trust her and she began to explain that all my symptoms were normal and that I was deeply depressed. It was tough work but I got there in the end and made a full recovery as she helped me to understand my illness and how it affected the physiology of the body as well as many other areas. Through the work I did with my Therapist I slowly came round little my little. I discovered things from my past that had wounded me beyond belief and seven years on I am still dealing with hurt from the past. Feelings were suppressed for all my life, buried away deep down. I am still learning still recovering and I am also challenged now with an added illness of Cancer. Luckily my cancer is treatable and I’m on the road to recovery.

Depression destroys lives and never under estimate how severe it can be. Only the people who have experienced this illness can truly understand and relate to how damaging it is and how intense the suffering is. However, if you know somebody that is suffering, be there as best you can, help them to reach out and let them know that they are not alone.

Lonely Man

Lonely Man

I was twenty one years old and was married just under a year, on reflection I had got married to get out of the family home, my father was a hard working man, but was; what I now know to be a functioning alcoholic and on many occasions very violent towards my mum, brothers and sisters.

My wife was a lovely girl, she had no idea how damaged I was, neither did I, by this time I had developed a major problem with alcohol, and on a few occasions smoked dope, but thankfully the drug scene was not for me, YET.

Alcohol became the most important thing in my life at that time, this I would have said was insane, I was not addicted to alcohol, my problem was I did not know truly what addiction was, and how powerful it was, how it had consumed my life at such an early age.

I thought I was a good husband, son, brother, uncle, I did not know that darkness was creeping up on me I was getting depressed, I did not identify this emotion, this was also part of my problem, I could not identify most emotions other that anger, self pity, fear.

I learned when it was to late, that I was not as good a husband as I thought, how could I be; my mentor was an alcoholic that was most of the time, off his head with anger, resentment and jealousy, that was my father, this is what I was brought up with, this is what I new, my mother did not deserve this way of life, she never drank herself, she came from a good family, and worked hard for her children, but addiction does not discriminate it does not care who it hurts, it is the great taker, it takes every thing from you.

My marriage ended after one year, not because my wife left, but because I made her leave, she was interfering in my drinking, I could not drink the way I wanted to, I wanted to be married but have the single life at the same time, I was not a womaniser but alcohol was a better friend than my wife, now that’s how powerful addiction is, you may say this was cruel and you may be right, but the pain I was suffering, emotional pain that I could not understand or control was immense, agony pure agony I loved this girl but my lifestyle was tearing us apart.

After she went back to her parents home, I thought this is the life, I have a no one to dictate to me how I lived and how I behaved, I was free; this was an elution that alcohol had created in my mind, that I could party when I wanted, do what I wanted, no one to answer to.

After six/eight weeks of this freedom, I found myself at parties were there could be fifty people at them, plenty music and drink? Yet I was lonely very lonely, insecure and the darkness was coming closer and closer, I contacted my wife to see if she would come back, she refused, my future just got even darker, here we go an other emotion on top of all the others, FAILURE.

This failure never just happened out of the marriage, there was countless other situations in my past were I made the wrong decisions, but I thought I was in control, I lost control because I did not know how to share a problem with an other human being, it was not the man thing to do, admit you had problems especially within the marriage.

I could see no way out, I was an emotional cripple and did not know it, the more I thought about my position the more I drank, the more I drank the more depressed I was getting, the darkness was over me now and I just wanted the pain to go away, I was causing to many problems all around me, my family and friends, I was ashamed for myself and could not see life getting better, who could I turn to, who would listen.

Suicide was not on my mind that day; I was out with the boys at the pub having a good time, as the song says hiding behind the smile and painting the town, and yes this clown was crying all the while, deep sadness engulfed me when I got home to my mothers house, she did not deserve an other maniac in her life, she deserved some peace in life, at a moments notice the decision was made in my head to end it all, before I new what was happening I had swallowed all my mothers medication around one hundred plus tablets.

I woke up some two days later in the local hospital, both my parents at the bedside, seemingly they got sixty two whole tablets out of my body, and they don’t know how many dissolved as I had cleaned the cupboard out of all her medication, they say I was a lucky man to be alive, I had damaged some organs in my body with the amount of medication I took, and it would be some time before I would mend properly.

I new moments after I swallowed all the pills that I did not want to die, but I had taken to much drink and there was no turning back, I was very weak and had no strength left in me, as it turned out my father or brother found me and called an ambulance, this was the third and last attempt at suicide.

I have learned that there is nothing, or no one in this world worth me taking my own life it is not mine to take, only when I got to the point of no return did this become clear to me, I thank the good Lord above for allowing me time to understand me, and hopefully be able to help some one else avoid this type of situation.

For me I eventually stopped drinking through AA, there I learned I was not alone, I don’t take any mind altering substances what so ever, that marriage ended after that, I was deeply saddened because she did not deserve some one like me, and I did not set out to hurt anyone in life.

All I can say is the meaning of the word love was not the type of education I learned in my home when we were growing up, survival was an instinct that became very strong in me, yet I tried to end it all, I could not cope with the emotional pain in my life, or so I thought.

No matter what comes your way, Financial, Emotional, Physical, Spiritual, or Mentally you will be able to cope, just reach out for help, all the numbers are in your local directory in all countries. Pick up the phone, you do not have to go down the road I walked, I was lucky, suicide may be on your mind, you are not responsible for your thoughts, but you are responsible for your actions. WALK TALL.

Double Jeopardy

Double Jeopardy

In my early days of recovery from Alcohol Addiction, I could never understand why I could not find peace of mind; I always seemed to be agitated and ill at ease.

I would go to five meetings a week or more in my first year, and still I could find no peace, I should have known from my past experiences in recovery, as a guy who continually relapsed for five years that there had to be something else, there must be an answer to this but I was looking, and could not see.

This brings me to the root of all addiction; I was in Denial about another wee hobby of mine, playing cards, you see as a Taxi driver working shifts it was too easy for me to join the boys for a wee game of three card brag after a hard nights work.

If you do not know what this game is, let me tell you it’s deadly, and to make matters worse it would be Blind Brag before the end of the night and that is pure insane, if you can’t read cards as most of us can’t, then the odds of you winning are practically nil, the same applies to all card games, and gambling in general, especially slot machines, that’s insanity at it’s best, you would be as well throwing your money up an elephants arse, you get the same results deep in shit as I did.

Nearly every night I had to do double shifts to make up the money I had lost at the table earlier on, I can’t describe the pain of losing, that gut wrenching feeling, like someone inside your stomach pulling your intestines in and out, the shame and embarrassment of loosing, but you can’t let the boys know you feel like throwing the table up in the air and chocking the c..t that won the game, no that’s not what the true gamblers do, they take it in the chin and a get on with life, that’s the picture they like to paint.

I was never a true gambler, I was always chasing the win, I needed the money for something else, I had kids to feed and clothe, or the income was not enough, I know some people out there will be saying if you can’t afford to lose, don’t play, I never knew anyone who could afford to lose, but I knew plenty of people who claimed they could afford it, until one day they never had a pot to piss in and lost everything they treasured, family as well.

That is one of the saddest sights you will ever see, the loneliness of the loser is deafening and dark, but there is a way back, and only you can make the journey, the odds of you making a complete recovery are high, if you have the right help.

Because I was already in recovery I thought I knew all the answers, I did not know about secondary addictions, this is when you replace your primary addiction and replace it with another, and another until you become multiple addicted, resulting in absolute chaos all around you. You may be off the drink, but you are by no means sober, they call this the DRY DRUNK syndrome, it’s like living with a demon, someone possessed, you can never do anything correct around them, they are like a cat on a hot tin roof, total insanity.

During all of this my family were abused in all directions except physically thank God, but they were abused financially, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, you see I did not understand I was torturing them, I always had this he-man notion that if I did not batter the wife and kids, I was a good father, to this day, I say I don’t know what kept making me go back for more punishment, but I know that the curse of the gambler did keep me going back, the only word in the dictionary that identifies my feelings is an ADDICT, addicted to gambling.

I used the word curse of the gambler there, and I did this for a reason, there are people all over the world as you are reading this, losing their money and their minds to gambling, sitting in their own homes playing computer games like poker, some through boredom others have this insane thought they can beat the system, 99.9% never beat the system, as a taxi driver I take people to the races for a day of fun and a small wager, most of them could not afford the fare home, but they won’t tell you that would they.

Take a look in the mirror, who is looking back at you, do you like what you see, there is a nice peaceful person in there trying to get out, Quit Gambling and set yourself free, what you are chasing is already inside you; and always has been.

Signed: The Shuffler

One Worst Drunk

One Worst Drunk

Zero Man

Scotland

Sometime early 1987, March or April I can’t really recall the dates or times, but I know it was my eldest son’s birthday around that time.

I owned my own Pub then that was on top of a hill, I had been removed from the family home again this was a kind of normal sequence of events that I can look back on and safely say there were two people in this relationship that where sick, and the ones that suffered most was the kids.

The pub had its own office and storage space which I made into an apartment, very basic but still a place to rest my head, I was as usual working behind the bar early evening and enjoying the atmosphere at the time, I had picked up the first drink some three or four weeks previous, hence my present circumstances, Homeless.

As the night went on someone had said that they had been enjoying there kids birthday party early on that day and that it was good to get away from the mayhem in his home as there were kids everywhere, as he says this it came into my mind that my son’s birthday was due soon or had passed. I could not remember clearly as I had lost track of time.

I knew that I was surrounded by regular customers some I would like to have called friends, but as time passed by I knew they were only drinking buddies some of them sicker than me, with a lot more problems than me, time has taught me this as there is a number of them dead now, especially the barman T, he died last year of Alcoholism, nice wee guy but would take the fillings out of your teeth.

As the night went on I remember picking up the phone and dialing my home number, one of the boys answered and shouted mammy dads on the phone, she said very abruptly what do you want, I said I have got a present for T’s birthday, a racing bike.

This was a bike that one of the customers said that he would sell me, during the conversation we were having, when I told him that it was my son’s birthday soon as well, he took advantage of a situation that allowed him to off load something that he no longer has use for, and he could make a few bob.

She went mental on the phone saying are you f—–g mental we need food not a f—–g racing bike, I was raging there was me trying to do what I believed to be right and was shot down in flames, she said don’t come near the house with the bike or else, or else meant locked doors or the cops, she always threatened me with the cops but only once called them.

In my drunken state I was adamant that my son would have his birthday present that night come what may, the more time went by the more I was proud of the bike, yer man went to his house and brought the bike into the pub to let me see it, it was a cracker.

After a few more drams I thought it was time to go and give my son his gift, all the boys Were wishing me well on my journey, looking back on this incident I know most of them were winding me up and thinking that all this was a laugh, what a fucking laugh.

As I left the pub I could see the town about 1,000 ft below, thinking to myself I will be there in no time here goes, I through the leg over and start to pedal softly at first, then all of a sudden I can feel the road slipping by me faster and faster, f–k me I can’t stop this thing, it’s too steep a hill the bike has a mind of its own.

I start to swerve all over the road the next thing I remember people looking down at me, I am in agony I just ran into a lamp post, the bike is a right off, my ribs are broken in three or four places my shoulder is cracked my jaw is stinging with force I hit the ground and slid on to the grass, my clothing is ruined and my pride is in tatters.

As a result of this latest episode in my life I needed hospital treatment for injuries sustained, my son to this day has never got his present, the kids laughed at Dad crashing the bike, and this episode was cast up to me in numerous occasions thereafter.

The long term result of this was that I was off work for six weeks, I was facing a drunk driving charge, this was eventually dropped, and again I promised never again would Alcohol pass my lips, sympathy was poured on me and was allowed back into the house to mend, all the usual promises were made to myself and my family, I also promised myself to bar the C–t that sold me the bike, that’s the only one I kept.

What did I learn out of this incident, at the time, the joke was that I would buy a three wheeler; this was to cover up my shame and stupidity, but deep down I knew time was catching up with me, changes would have to be made but I could not see a way out.

My Alcoholism allowed me to think for a brief moment, that this was the last no more, this was not the worst of my escapades’ only another one on a different day, what made this one different was the fact that I was trying to be a parent in the middle of insanity, trying to show that I could be a proper father in a haze of booze, I could not see the obvious signs in front of me.

I was blind to the obvious, all my efforts were in vain not just in this incident but in all others before and after, I was to have another two or three major incidents in this pub before I sold up and rejoined A A, today I am twenty Four years sober, clean and gambling free.

The shame that I brought on my-self and on my family was side stepped by the notion that it would be a seven day wonder; they would be talking about someone else next week and not me, the convenient memory at its best

Addiction can not be cured, but addiction can be arrested one day at a time. Through the help of the Bill W Club, my days are much more enjoyable and the freedom to choose my way of life and not have addiction choose it for me is nothing short of miraculous.

Zero Man